//Chapter 12

Posted on 11.8.10

All alone.

Am I taking things too serious?

I'm being left out again.

But it seems that they are not the ones who pull me out now.

I'm the one now.

Pulling away from them. Do I feel better this way?

It seems that I'm the one who is making problems.

I'm the troublemaker. I always believe I'm one.

No matter whether is it relationship, friendship nor family.

I'm Nothing. Always bear that in mind.

You are nobody to friends. You are just a normal person.

The purpose in life, what is it?

Some call me the good person, a nice person when I'm not.

Why am I so weak? I'm not a good person.

Neither a good friend etc.

16years, what have I actually learn?

Sigh. Who are you?

Are you still the one I once knew?

No longer knew who are you.

What secrets are you guys holding which can't tell me?

Am I really that petty?

No changes need me to make, really?

Th sky is crying soon.

Will the sun be shining after the rain? Could it ease my pain?

Do I still have a place in your hearts?

It hurts me so deep, when I actually think of it.

Tell me it's alright or could you tell me it's a lie.

Am I the one who will be there? Or the one who is left out there?

Memories of us running through my mind, till now I still wonder if

it's ours or only just mine?

Am I the one wiping my own tears and crying as soft as possible so that no one hears.

I guess this is me all along, and I'm afraid I will have to prolong.

I'm quite cold,but there is no one to hold.

Huwa Huwa, blow me gently.

Let it fade away..my memories, my everything if its possible.

Ha-Neul Ha-Neul, I'm calling for you.

If I become a memory, I guess no one would remember, Right?

I always thought that its my happiness to have you guys, I guess I'm wrong.

Having me here, with you all,that isn't happiness, isn't it?

Happiness lies within you guys. Without me.

The past, the present, I am still I am. You guys too.

Always thought that "you have him" only when he's not there,

i then join you all.

I'm only an attention seeker.

how many time must I shed tears for the friendship made?

A step by a step, I slowly knew I've changed.

A step by a step, I had to.

I wanna cherish those friendship,

but you guys make me not to. ):

xoxo, Li En